Wednesday, July 25, 2012


Lately, I've been sleeping late at night and waking up late in the morning, an after-effect of my previous job perhaps. Last night was a different scenario though. I slept past midnight and unintentionally, woke up 4am because of a nightmare. Yes, it was a nightmare, I was DEAD! Usually, I can't clearly remember the details of my dreams, but for this one, I could still picture it out.

A dream within a dream... 

It was a burial. I saw my eldest sister in front of the crowd, holding a microphone, delivering a speech, crying. I tried to understand what she's saying but I couldn't get anything. I looked around. I saw my family, relatives, college and high school friends, and people I don't know: they are all crying. I tried making conversation with a friend and asked for the reason of their weeping. No response was given except for those sincere tears in her eyes. I asked another person, I got the same response. It seemed that they did not hear or even see me. I walked forward, still wondering. I reached the casket, looked down to see who's in it, it was ME. I started to cry.

This isn't real. This is just a dream. I was persuading my self and yes, it was just a dream. I woke up and took a deep breath. I looked around, it was the same room I have in our house in the province. I looked for my parents and siblings, went to the kitchen, living room, practically all over the house, and I found nobody. I went out and saw all of them ready for a family outing/vacation. All things packed: foods, clothes, car. They didn't notice me. I just didn't understand why my mother isn't there. I joined them anyway. Along the way, I heard they were talking about my death. I started crying again. In my mind, I was saying I don't deserve it. I'm still young. I'm only 24 years old and three quarters of those years were spent studying. Now that I'm dead, all of the sacrifices were wasted. There was a long silence. 

There was a shifting of plot. Now, we are on a hospital. I saw my my mother lying on one of the beds, breathing through a respirator, with wires all over her body. My siblings were beside her, holding her hand. My father was with the doctor. I walked closer to hear what the doctor is saying. He was telling my father about the chances of my mother surviving the illness, it was small (IN REAL LIFE, MY MOTHER IS VERY HEALTHY). I looked back at my mother and started to cry. That very moment, I accepted my death and prayed that my mother be given another chance to live. My prayer was answered, she recovered. 

Another shift in plot. From elsewhere, I could see my family celebrating life. My parents were preparing lunch while my sisters were having fun. I could see smiles in their faces. I wasn't there but I could feel the same joy, and there were tears... tears of joy. It's time for me to go. I turned back, and there was a bright light. I walked and followed where the light is heading. I was in peace.

Another shift in plot. I woke up. I'm not really sure if I'm dead or alive. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. I looked around and saw my housemate still up, busy on his laptop. I talked to him just to make sure I'm in reality. And yes, this is real now. After that, I prayed and thanked God for this life and for all the blessings especially for my  family.

My favorite 3 Sisters

My Supportive Parents

I also thanked Him for my friends and for all the people whom I got to communicate and deal with. And then I wrote this blog.

Life is very short and we wouldn't know when will it be taken. While we still have the chance, we need to share our blessings and SPREAD LOVE. 


Jovale Vincent Tongco said...
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Maria Adela Lacao said...

Josh you are thinking a lot in the past days...just relax and keep the faith. God Bless